Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Diary Entry: 1 year anniversary

I have reached my 1 year anniversary with Sam & I’m honestly a little shocked and surprised. Before Sam, I had never had a proper relationship and loved single life and being young and free. I would go out every weekend, kiss some strangers, then spend the next day at work dying with a hangover. I loved that life, my unhealthy, horrible life. I didn’t think I needed anything else or a boyfriend and was happy spending time with my friends and family and generally being a lazy girl who worked in a pet shop.

I met Sam on Tinder. There, it’s out there. I never thought I’d use Tinder for anything other than passing the time on a boring Sunday night. It’s a funny app if you’re single and the sorts you get on there a funny and also, disgusting. I never planned on meeting anyone from it because stranger danger (when sober) was strong. I literally only ever met blokes when I’d had one too many vodkas and so the idea of going on a real, proper grown up date was terrifying. I was 19 at the time and you’d think by 19 I’d have been on a proper date, but nope.

So, Sam was adorable and very eager to meet and so we met and had a great first date (drinks, cinema, you get the drift) and he paid for everything like the real gentleman he is. He still moans to this day that it was the most expensive first date he’d ever been on. Even after the first date I was still considering myself single and ahem, still loving single life. But, the more times I saw him, the more I realised I was ready to swap triple vodkas for hot chocolate on the settee. Plus, it was getting wintery and I needed someone to cuddle when it was cold.

I think the first time I realised I was properly smitten was on Christmas Eve when we spent it with his family and I really wanted to keep spending the night together rather than go and meet my friends and get hammered. I wanted to cuddle him and go into Christmas together and just be proper cute together.

Being in a relationship for a year is weird because we’ve got over the honeymoon stage, but I still have real moments when I look at him and feel all warm inside because I love the crap out of him. He does everything he can for me, wines and dines me, buys me presents and spends time with my family. He gets annoyed when my dogs slaver on him, but then can cope with my nan when she's had a few too many brandies and is talking about us having babies (eek, not yet!!).

He encouraged me to follow my plan and take the plunge to scrap my well-paying job for a shit paying apprentice. He encourages me when I moan about being skint and when I moan about my family. He cuddles me when I’m sad and doesn’t judge me when I have chocolate even though I’m on a diet. He moans that I’m a feeder and that I’m fattening him up so no one else will have him. He spends all week on his car and doesn’t see me for hours on end, but sends his friends away so we can spend an hour before bed catching up and watching one of our series together. He calls me a nerd and takes me to nerdy places, even if he doesn’t like it. He wants me to get involved in his hobbies and wants to be involved in mine. He makes me a better person and I’m so grateful to have found him.

Although he riles me up and makes me want to pull my hair out in frustration sometimes, he does his very best to not hurt me. Being in a relationship for a year makes me look back on being single and scoff at how much of an idiot I was.  Although I wouldn’t change the memories I’ve made with my friends, I’m so glad I managed to grow up and be an adult (lol).

The future kind of scares me. I’m only 20 and so not ready to get married and have kids (but, woohoo for those who are!) and the idea of having to pay bills in my own home, living with a boy, is literally like an “oh shit, fuck, balls” moment. Then the next moment I’ll be daydreaming of how I’ll decorate when we move in together. I’m in a transitional place in my life and I have a lot going on in the next few months. I see my Samuel and I sticking together for as long as he’ll have me (gag). Happy 1 year to me being a proper adult in a proper adult relationship!

Til next time! XOXO


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